Thursday, February 08, 2007

BINAC Gets Busted!

Not since Panama has the BINAC crew been hassled by "The Man," but it happened again today, in the good ol' U.S. of A.! You see, after striking out on the Gyrfalcon, the BINACmobile was headed south towards Cheese Land (aka Wisconsin), when, all of a sudden, Smokey makes a U-turn and pulls us over for speeding. Smokey claimed that we were doing 25 mph over the limit, but we think his comment about our Florida (ie out-of-state rental car) license plate reveals the real story behind our detention. BTW, we're pretty sure that radar guns are not that precise from a moving vehicle, but hey, the County gotta eat, right?

In Illinois, members of the General Assembly cannot be arrested or detained on the way to or from a legislative session, and we propose the same rule for birders. If God wanted BINAC to obey the speed limit, he wouldn't have given us a V-8 engine in our rental car! If we wanted to drive slow, we would have rented one of those electric toy cars!

Anyway, as we were discussing the matter with Sheriff Hillbilly, we noticed two adult Bald Eagles overhead, locking their talons in flight! Deputy Doofus was not as interested in this majestic sight as we thought he should be. Probably didn't help our case much.

Here's the thing: Officer Frosty knew we were going to the airport, so he asked us to surrender our driver's license since we were from out-of-state. Fuck that---the last time someone asked us to do that was in, you guessed it, Panama! Anyway, to make a long story short, we had to fork over $150+ cash to bond out and keep our license.

Any locality that makes out-of-towners pay cash up-front is sketchy, at best. In fact, the cash "fine" we paid to Sergeant Goober was $50 more than the cash "bribe" we paid to Officer Panama. No wonder we hate government regulation--there is a very fine line between corruption and government regulation! Guess this means that things are just more expensive in the U.S.!

6 comments:

olivacea said...

Birding may not be a crime under most circumstances, but violating traffic laws, and many other laws are. You got busted.

So STFU! You admitted violating the law. What more is there to say! I am sorry that you had a run in with a "rouge" LE officer, but you asked for it. There are rational reasons why laws exist, and rational reasons why they are enforced.

I haven't had a traffic ticket in 45 years...

Anonymous said...

Yeah, and no one has caught me beating my wife either. So there.

You scofflaws are no better than Jeffry Dalhmer. At least he ate his mistakes.

What's your excuse?

Anonymous said...

Those are some well thought out responses. For a couple of out-patients!

Traffic laws, more often than not, are enforced as a means of revenue generation rather than public safety. It sounds to me like Sgt. Stedenko generated a little income for himself.

I've had dozens of birding related traffic citations in the last 43 years. And I've beaten 90% of them in court because traffic enforcement cops are rarely all that bright. Much like the two dough-head fascists that responded here!

olivacea said...

Those are some well thought out responses. For a couple of out-patients! etc., etc.

So I understand! It's O.K. to break the law if you can get away with it, How far would you go? A felony? An assault? A murder?

You are a fool and I hope you get busted for something good and end up spending some time in a pimta prison.

Anonymous said...

Yeah. Going 25 over the limit is the same as a felony. And yes, I'm sure I will be sentenced sometime soon to a multiple year prison term, what with my lengthy criminal record which....wait a minute, I don't have a criminal record!
You are right about me being a fool though. What the hell am I doing talking to a jingoistic fuck like you for?

ScottCatskill said...

Radar guns are not accurate from a moving car...the cop bluffed, you bit (not that you had much of a choice if you were heading for the airport), and he got a nice pocket-full of donut and coffee money.
I've beaten a ticket because the cop claimed to clock me from his moving patrol car.
And anyone who wishes jail time on anyone who's only "crime" is speeding is a little off-kilter. What's next, 20 lashes for jaywalking?