Sunday, January 13, 2008

URGENT---BINAC CONSERVATION ACTION ALERT!!!

Dear Friends;

We have had quite a few complaints lately about the site not being updated. Actually, they haven't really been complaints, more like statements: "The site hasn't been updated lately." Or even compliments: "The site hasn't been updated lately. (Thank God!)"

So, while we have been away losing all of our money in the Czech Republic and Manchester on our question to master the Japanese language, we decided that we needed to come back with a bang. Something big. Something important. Something serious and conservation-minded. We've seen other birding web sites do "action alerts" for critical conservation issues, and that's what we have here for you today. Please feel free to distribute this ACTION ALERT to any other birders, birding web site, homeless people, or prostitutes you see in the next 72 hours:

BINAC ACTION ALERT!!!

HELP SAVE CRITICALLY ENDANGERED AND HARASSED LONG-EARED OWLS!!!!

Recently, a group (flock? covey?) of rare Long-eared Owls has been "discovered" in a park on Chicago's near South Side, in an area known as the South Loop.

However, inconsiderate birders, dog-walkers, mailmen, and sanitation workers have been harassing these poor birds. Today, while standing vigil over the owls, we witnessed a serious altercation between a birder and a photographer over where they could stand on the sidewalk. This incident culminated in the the birder running the photographer over with his car, and a group of schoolchildren dragging the birder out of his car and stabbing him to death. This will probably be on all of the national news networks tonight. Anyway, this sort of thing has to stop, and we have the perfect solution:

We hereby call on the Wisconsin Humane Society to capture these poor, defenseless, homeless owls and deposit them at the nearby Brookfield Zoo where they will lead a comfortable life in the Green-breasted Mango exhibit. We also propose that Jim Stevenson be placed into this same exhibit, for his own safety from the cat-loving crowd.

The time to act is NOW!!!

Please contact Stuart Strahl at the Brookfield Zoo and Migrant Bird Sanctuary/Petting Zoo with this important BINAC CONSERVATION ACTION ALERT!!!

(For further information, please contact the City of Chicago's Long-eared Owl Protection Unit at
312-744-7606.)

2 comments:

Mike Hendrickson said...

FREAKING FUNNY!

Smilodon said...

Funniest thing I've read in days!!