We went for a nice spring birding stroll to local hotspot Olive Park today only to be quite surprised to see a "classy" homemade sign informing all that Olive Park would be closed until, get this, the END OF MAY. OP has sucked since it was "destored" a few years ago, but it was still a reliable spot for sparrows and thrushes. (Note to our less astute readers: "destored" is a word we have cleverly just created to describe the process by which a birding spot is destroyed by "restoration" efforts that take away food and cover migrants need to survive. Other places in the Chicago area that have been destored in the past few years include Wooded Isle, Cherry Hill, and Bergman Slough.)
We have no clue what they're doing at the OP, but we saw lots of trees or tree limbs that had been taken down, and some piping that looked like it was being installed. (Not sure why you would run pipe under trees in a park that has no facilities, but hey, you gotta feed those contractors, so just let them run some new pipe to the fountains, right?)
We are suggesting that our readers send the following letter of protest ("LOP") to the city--since the OP is not directly under the control of the Park District, the letter should be sent to the Water Department at the City of Chicago:
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Dear Mr./Ms. Jackass:
If there are any employees left in your department who are not currently busy accepting bribes to perform illegal natural gas hookups or running a heroin ring from the Jardine Water Treatment Plant next to Olive Park, could you please try to find the time to tell us what the fuck you're doing at the OP?
Sincerely,
(insert your name here)
A local dog walker
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