Wednesday, October 26, 2005

BINAC World Exclusive: First Report From A Volunteer Cornell Ivory-billed Woodpecker Searcher!

Some of the birding blogs out there have been complaining about the release that Cornell is requiring its "volunteer" IBWO searchers to sign. Astute readers will note that I complained about this several weeks ago, even though I lacked the effort to even fill out the application.

However, all is not lost, because Cornell apparently will allow the volunteer searchers to talk about their search as long as Cornell gets the chance to edit any report before it is distributed to the public.

I received the following report this afternoon, and I think that it will be of great interest to anyone who is interested in the Search for the Ivory-Billed Woodpecker.

My name is ________. I am a ________ from ________. Recently, I was selected by Cornell to be a volunteer IBWO searcher in ________, Arkansas.
I arrived in ____ on _______, where the team was greeted by __________ from Cornell. There were __ volunteer searchers there, including well-known birders such as _________, ________, and _________. I even got to meet the ________, who has her own birding blog, and she is much nicer than _______________ says she is.
Anyway, yesterday I had a 90% certain sighting of an ___________!!!! I was near _____ at about ____ in the morning. First, I heard what sounded like a toy ________, I would describe it as "_____-______."
Then I saw a large black ________, with white on the ______, black on the _____, and white on the ____ of the _____. I did not see the white ____ on the back. The head had a red _____, and the bill was _____.
I am virtually certain that this bird was a _________, even though I have never seen an _____ before, and the bird was more than ______ yards away from me.
I had my camera with me, but I could not _______, so I did not get a _______, and since Cornell would just ____ any _____ that I took anyway, to make _____, t-shirts, _______, and coffee mugs, why even bother?
After I reported my sighting to _____ of Cornell, he ______, and after wiping his eyes, he told me that I should _____ _______ ______ _______ ________. He also told me to ______ ______ ________ _______. And I did.
I also asked ______ what he thought of the blog by that guy named ______ from _______, and he told me that "his thoughts" were that ______ was full of _______ ; he feels that _____ is a _____ ______, a real __________. _________ promised me that they would shut ______ up by releasing a new video that would be sure to silence the critics.
This video, taken at a distance of 200 ______, clearly shows a bird that could be an ______, or possibly an aberrant_______, or maybe even a regular old __________. Nobody is really sure, and the video is a bit suspicious, because it is in black-and-white, but since Cornell has already seen an ______ in that area, ______ is the most likely bet. The video will be relaesed on the ______ Springer show sometime in early __07. It will also be sold on the Home ____ ______ for $__.__ on dvd. I can't wait to get my royalty checks from Cornell!!!!!
I hope you found my report to be _________, or at least a bit _______.
I hope that we get more reports from this volunteer searcher in the future!!!!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hilarious. Thanks for bringing some levity to this area!!!